Joedawg's blog

 

Y'all already know what it is at this point. Right into it we go!

Lock Load (ft. Beanie Sigel) sets the tone for the album while also continuing what we know about Con being in the streets in a different way back in the day, and now he's in them in a different way. Con expresses how his folks think he's going crazy but he can't give a fuck anymore since being shot, and he keeps it on him the same way did before the shooting. It was cool to hear from Beanie in 22. The darkness was breathing through this beat. 

Con brings in Rick Ross and Lil Wayne on Tear Gas. Con touches on how his story is far from finished, how he looks out for his own, and how none of the dudes who said they loved him were there for him on more than a few occasions. The features were cool and didn't overshadow the Machine.

Back to a dark, piano laced beat on Piano Love. Classic Griselda sound but it's Al the Chemist on the beat, who might as be seen as an associate MANY a point ago. What can I say? It's that street shit. Con salutes every solid cat out in the streets.

It's Daringer himself on Drumwork (ft. 7xvethegenius & Jae Skeese) - Damn. 7 was indeed 7ess flow on the mic, Jae as well and you know the Con was. This track was like watching all emcees brush off their shoulders. That's the energy they brought. 

Wild Chapters (ft. T.I. & Novel) takes a reflective pace. Prod. by Hit-Boy. Con gets personal talking about coming up from the trenches, how he did some real dirt, his son passing, having another kid, and wondering how he's supposed to be a proud rapper. Tip per usual at this stage in his career especially is on some OG shit, giving some game. Novel's cadence fits this rather somber beat. 

Con acknowledges his own guilt but also shines some light on others on Guilty. He calls out folk focusing on his appearance rather than his lyrics, and how they're too pussy to go through what he's been through so they fear/reject it. Con also makes it a point to acknowledge his positives, like how he's come up, how he moves on the mic, and this album. 

It really is GRISELDA on John Woo Flick (ft. Benny & West). Kill helped Daringer mint this one. All 3 emcees touch on how everything that comes with the game is nothing to them because they seen so much shit via the other game that they ain't phased. 

I really got to see another side of Con on Stressed (ft. Wallo267) Con is trying his best to be there for himself and his but it all piles up. He's already done so much, people have forgotten that stuff, people feel like he owes him, he's depressed like his woman is but she don't know, alcoholism, he's tired, his shooting and the surgery, homies dead or in the hole, his cousin hanging himself, holding his passed child, etc. We all goin through it, even our favorite emcees. 

It's a another change of pace on So Much More. Con knows that he's more than just another rapper, a street nigga, etc. He doesn't want listeners to get that confused, or listen to one side and not his, or take things out of context. He was out there feeding families during COVID, giving to coats for kids, hot meals for the homeless, coming out his own pocket with no promotion from anyone, etc. He didn't sell his soul for what he has now. He even gives game on 360 deals fuckin rappers. 

Con got the legend Jill Scott on Chanel Pearls. This track is an ode to the woman in his life that stood by his side through thick and thin. It's a throwback kind of track to hear Jill spit and then sing.

Babas (with Keisha Plum) - This was like the calm before the "storm" to come. It's a bit of a foreshadowing that could've been the first track given how fitting it is to the theme of the album.

For the last track God Don't Mistakes to be the title track is cool to see. It's like a culmination. It all came together for Con in life and it's an extension being shown here at the end of the album. Everything he been through, maybe it was supposed to happen, God don't make mistakes. A lotta what if's about his life come up here. Like what if it was him that went out that one night, or he was still on the corner and he was the one who got busted by Feds, what if he was the one who got clapped, what if he didn't walk out of the hospital, or didn't have Bell's Palsy, what Griselda didn't blow up, etc.

This may be Con's best work. Other albums carried the same fire but they didn't come together like GDMM. Now I feel like I "know" Con, even more so than Benny and West. Stream GDMM below.

http://www.ok-tho.com/2022/06/album-review-conway-machine-god-dont.html

 

There was no shot that I wasn't gonna speak on this album. Lets go!

What an intro track Old Friend is. Funny how Earl manages to make the intro sound like the culmination, the beginning at least. Earl here touches on finding balance/the middle, and filling a void with the pen. The song itself sounds/feels therapeutic which while is par the course with Earl, this song has a uniqueness about it. 

It feels like Earl is feeling himself with the beat selection and flow to match for the next track 2010. This is likely just me, but it feels like this is "the other side" of Earl on his "Grief" shit on IDLSIDGO. Literally, it's like this one song is his response or the alternate version of where he was 7-8 years ago. That same hunger and attitude is there, but it's like Earl is truly better this time around. 

Title track here with Sick! Leave it to Earl to sound sleepy on what for him is a banger track. Simply said, I just fuck with it - and then Earl brought in the man I know for bangers in Zelooperz on Vision. On visions, both emcees talk about envisioning riding out their storms and having people there to ride them out with. 

It was on Tabula Rasa where we got the best feature of the 2 on the album thanks to Armand Hammer. Firstly, you don't have a soul if the beat doesn't soothe you. I just found myself relating with these brothas, as usual. An example would be E L U C I D off that bat of his verse talking about not being as numb as he thought, and listening to people talk like they never been punched in the face. 

Got me bobbin my head and feeling like poppin my collar on Lye. Earl tops the track off at the end:

"Gotta make it straight
Fill the jar, it's hot
The longer you can stand it, the straighter it's gon' be
I gritted my teeth, my eyes watered, my nose was runnin'
I couldn't stand it any longer
Then my head caught fire"

God Laughs isn't just my favorite on the album but also one of my 3 favs of 2022 so far. Old Friend made it feel like Earl has overcome, while God Laughs is a reminder that he's still on the journey. In other words: 

"In the middle of the marsh where mosquitoes chomp ankles
Swamp marching on on the quest for my lost halo, God"

Back to the bangers on Titanic. This again feels like Earl feeling himself. In a way, for the album to take these turns that are rather foreign to Earl lets me know that he really is in a different place now. 

Fire in the Hole is the perfect outro track. Earl's cadence over this slow, rather bluesy instrumental is fitting and it feels like how this album should go out.  

It was nice to get this update from Earl on how he's doing because ever since IDLSIDGO dropped, I've kind of seen each album as the continuation of an autobiography. That's Earl's discog to me. While I still for now prefer SRS and IDLSIDGO, Sick! kind of sets me at ease because Earl has never sounded so free artistically or exuded such confidence this way. God Laughs could be his magnum opus. 

Stream Sick! below.

http://www.ok-tho.com/2022/06/album-review-earl-sweatshirt-sick.html

Cyanca releases the Official Music Video for her song "PB&J" available now on YouTube. Appearing on her EP "Fast Times," Cyanca's voice grabs your attention from the opening note making you pay attention to every word coming from her. Smooth soulful chords, laid-back drums, and anthemic horns set the soundscape for Cyanca to dance all over the beat with her warm and comforting vocal tones. 
Cyanca's own words "damn, this my jammy jam" sums up the single "PB&J" perfectly as this song feels like a conversation with a lost friend or a movie you've seen a thousand times but never gets old. Cyanca gives us a nostalgic neo-soul vibe like the greats Jill Scott and Erykah Badu but puts her own personality and twist on it giving us a new-classic feel in 2022. 
Hailing from Smithfield, North Carolina - Cyanca grew up learning music in Church while playing drums, keys, and organ as a youth, and that experience can be heard and felt in her music today. Marked as a "To Be Continued" visual we can't wait to see what's next for Cyanca after her release of "PB&J." Until then be sure to follow Cyanca on Instagram and Twitter, and stream her latest EP "Fast Times."

http://www.ok-tho.com/2022/06/cyanca-releases-official-music-video.html

The Young Southside Star Has Already Amassed Millions Of Views On Spotify, SoundCloud &

YouTube And Was Signed By Republic Records.

CHICAGO, IL - KB MIKE, born under Damichael D. Tate, is a Chicago Southside-born young artist almost 22 years old. Even though he undoubtedly was gifted before hitting the mainstream platforms, he gained awareness back in 2020. Amidst the pandemic and a house arrest, KB Mike released multiple singles while staying at home. His unique tone of voice and soulful expression quickly rostered a solid fan base, craving more from the artist. His lyrics are highly expressive, with a positive flow and a reminiscence hint. KB Mike explains that growing up on the Southside has exposed him to several hardships. Like witnessing close friends and relatives fall prey to violence and drug-related issues. Using music as a catalyst for expression gives his productions a sense of reality and “genuineness,” which people value and respect.

His first relevant single was Addicted, which went viral on Facebook and put him in the spotlight. Although his debut single was Here, We Go Again. He continued to set fire tracks to his audience and kept growing consistently. In April 2021, he released his first album called Nothing Lasts Forever. Although there is no exact date, he finally got signed to Republic Records. Being this his most significant break so far.

In an interview with Republic Records, he stated: “I’m somebody who came from a bad situation and used it to make something of himself. I appreciate everybody who has shown me, genuine love. Music is where I belong.”

That kind of humble attitude will hopefully propel him into new levels of stardom, where many expect him to continue bringing his exceptional material level.

Follow The Artist Below:

Youtube

Spotify

SoundCloud

Instagram

https://www.hiphopindiemusic.com/2022/06/a-rising-star-straight-from-chicago.html

 

CALIZOE, a marketing guru located in Miami, FL, was born inHaiti and raised in California. Hence, the name CALIZOE; Cali for the state of California and Zoe which means Haitian. He has become well known for his dynamic tactics pertaining to public relations, marketing, and instagram account recovery. Clients within a plethora of industries know who to call for all of the promotional needs in regard to social media and beyond. 

Not only does this promo genius know how to market his clients, he is also the creator of his high end fashion goggles which have been seen on the faces of many people including superstarAntonio Brown and others. The goggles have become CALIZOE’s signature mark and you have most likely seen him and his goggles in a variety of clubs in Miami such as, Llv, E11even, Boobytrap, and more. 

As CALIZOE continues to work diligently to help his clients, be sure to follow him and reach out to him for all of your promo and marketing needs. He is the go-to industry professional that everyone is talking about!

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

https://www.hiphopindiemusic.com/2022/05/calizoe-networking-guru-entrepreneur.html

The assassination of the Haitian president  Jovenel Moïse  was the latest news for Haiti and the world. President Jovenel Moise loved his role as president of Haiti to the point he died as a president. Well we all know the facts already... a group of paid soldiers were successful of their mission to take him out of power by assassination. 

But who or why.... Many may not know the real surroundings of Haiti chaos since Jovenel Moise became the president of Haiti. The country of Haiti was not improving nothing was going in the right direction. Haitians were getting killed left and right others were getting kidnapped and the president would look the other way which made the Haitian people confused to who side is President Jovenel Moise on some even said he was a tyrant.

 Compare to presidential counterpart Joe Biden of his role when the horrific Miami Surfside Collapsed and many people lost their lives it was a devastating events for Americans. 

But the president Joe Biden showed his face. We all know you can’t replace a life but the fact he showed is face and sympathy gave Americans the compassion that this president is human and is for the people. 

Now back to the topic of what lead up to the assassination of Jovenel Moise.

 A lot of Haitians said “if he would of left like he was supposed to in February he would still be alive today”.. Haiti president may have done his share of corruption and may have also tried to turn Haiti into a dictatorial system, which is condemned by 80% of Haitians. 

President Jovenel Moise was on the rise of doing so as he challenged his own administration to not take action of some old written documents as he’s now the president and he makes the rules. This made enemies with powerful Haitians politicians these were no small time leaders they were major figure people that have access to unlimited finances and other powerful people around the world. 

My theory in this is the politicians he resigned early arranged his removal because the Haitian constitution said any president come in while or within the terms of the 5 year term election is supposed to rerun for power but the people will still have to choose the next president of Haiti even if the current president have not reached the 5 years term. The election years would always consist to take place for a new president; by these methods and policies which is designed to alway oppose and protect any future act against dictatorship.

But July 7 2021 Wednesday early morning a professional security team orchestrated an act to assassinate Haitian president Jovenel Moise. Upon the mission to capture and detain Mr. Moise for removal of the Haiti office transpired into Haiti most recent tragic event. In the tragic attack taking place, things went left as president Jovenel Moise would resisted the capture; which lead to the only option to his demise. 

Maybe you’ve had a bad experience with texting guys in the past.

Have you hit him up only to be met with stone-cold silence?

Did you think you were friendly, funny, or flirty, only to never hear from him again?

This can make you feel insecure, powerless and put you off the whole dating thing altogether.

Don’t worry, every woman (and man) has been there.

Texting can be tough to navigate because it’s completely different to face to face interactions. You can’t see him or use body language or tone to communicate.

And if nobody has ever told you what you’re doing wrong, how can you possibly fix it?

But the great thing about texting is you get to think things through before you hit send.

You can take your sweet time with it, and make sure you send a text that will help move this relationship forward instead of making it hit a dead-end before it’s even begun.

I encourage you always to be real and be yourself with a man. But the truth is, specific texts will still turn a guy off.

Why?

Because they don’t tell him you’re a vibrant, sexy, independent woman.

But I know that you are, and you know that you are. So let’s make sure he knows it too, okay?

Have you ever sent one of these five texts to a man? If so, how did he respond? Did he respond at all? I’d love to know, so drop me a comment below.

Your Coach,

 

The post 5 Texts That Turns Guys Off (Never Send These) appeared first on Love Strategies.

https://lovestrategies.com/5-texts-that-turns-guys-off-never-send-these/

Going on a date can be nerve-wracking, especially if it’s the first date with a man you’ve never met before. 

But a few pre-date butterflies are a great thing.

Why?

Because it shows you care about how your date goes, and it shows you’re human!

Messaging someone online or on a dating app is different from having a video call with them via Zoom or meeting them in person. You can’t predict how things will go, if the chemistry will be there, or if the conversation will flow naturally without any awkward pauses.

Certain things will always be out of your control. But the great news is, there’s a lot you can control, and I’ve got plenty of pointers to set you up for dating success.

Here are 21 winning tips to use when you’re going on a date.

Follow these, and not only will your dating confidence improve—but your self-confidence will also soar. 

1. Practice self-compassion

I’m not going to lie to you ladies; dating and relationships can be challenging, sometimes even painful. 

But you know what usually causes us the most pain?

The way we internalize the experiences we have around dating. 

So instead of blaming yourself, criticizing, or judging, accept that bad dates happen. They’re not a direct reflection of you. And we know we can have unpleasant dating experiences, which also means we can have amazing ones. Focus on that. 

What if you’re going on a date tonight that will transform your life and end up being the last first date you ever have? 

Show yourself more kindness and compassion. Allow yourself to hope for a great date with an amazing man. 

2. Look at dating as an adventure

Yes, you’ll be nervous. But going on a date should be fun. And if it’s not something you’re looking forward to, then we need to fix that.

If you’ve just come out of a serious relationship, and you don’t feel like going on a date yet, that’s completely understandable. Give yourself the time you need. But if it’s fear or nerves holding you back, maybe you need to give yourself a gentle nudge and force yourself to go on a date. 

Think about what you’ll gain from it. You’ll get to get dressed up and show off a new outfit, discover a new spot in town, get to know someone you’re attracted to, and learn about yourself too. 

Try and walk into a date with a new man with no goal other than to enjoy getting to know someone new and enjoying yourself. Even if you never see him again, if you had a great time, then you didn’t waste your time. 

3. Going on a date: Make sure you look and feel good

When you feel confident on the inside, you’ll look more confident on the outside. And men love confident women.

So make sure you look your best. Wear something that flatters your figure, helps you feel sexy, but is also comfortable. For example, if you never wear heels, don’t bother with them for a date. 

And don’t try and be someone you’re not. Labels and trends don’t matter. Wear clothes that reflect your personality and are true to your unique style. And always opt for a matching set of lingerie underneath—nobody will see it, but you’ll feel like a Goddess.   

4. Call a friend for a pre-date pep talk

If you find you get nervous or anxious before a date, try calling a friend for a pre-date pep talk. 

Choose a friend who always knows exactly what to say in these moments to boost your confidence and remind you that any man would be lucky to date you because that’s the truth.

A few positive words of encouragement will help you walk into your date with confidence.

And if you feel like you need a little more assistance when it comes to dating, why not enlist the help of a dating coach? 

5. Play to your strengths

Many of us want to impress our date so badly that we pretend we’re someone we think they’ll be attracted to. But this is a mistake. You want this guy to like you for who you really are, and if he doesn’t, then he’s not right for you. And a relationship built on lies is never going to last. 

So play to your unique strengths and gifts. Voice your opinions. Be authentic. There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman who isn’t afraid to show the world her true colors. 

6. Know your worth

If you’ve never written a list of all the things you love about yourself, now is a great time to do just that. Next, read it back to yourself. Remind yourself of all your wonderful qualities and everything you have to offer someone in a relationship.

Knowing your worth is part of step one of our Little Love Steps. When you know your worth, you value yourself and can recognize what you bring to the table. This allows you to position yourself as a high-value woman on a date and attract a high-quality man.  

7. Keep it low-key

A brilliant way to ease the pressure of going on a date is to keep things casual. An extravagant or lengthy date doesn’t automatically equal a great one. 

Plus, when you keep things low-key, there’s less distraction. You can both focus on each other and get a clear sense of your connection.

There are plenty of fun things to do on a first date that don’t involve a champagne fountain, flying doves, or a string quartet! 

8. Go somewhere where you can talk

I will never understand why people decide to go on a first date to the cinema. You can’t see each other, you can’t talk, and you spend two hours sitting in the darkness watching a screen. 

If you’re going on a first date, you must choose an activity that allows you to chat and get to know each other. This is what dating is all about. 

That means noisy bars and clubs are out too. Meeting up for a coffee in a chilled cafe or a quieter bar is a good idea. If the weather’s good, you could treat yourself to ice cream and head to a park. Get creative and think outside the box.     

9. Meet in a public place

I’m sure you’re already dating with caution and don’t need a reminder, but I think it’s essential to mention staying safe. 

When you’re meeting up with a stranger or someone you still don’t know very well, always choose a public place for your date. Most people are good, but you can never be too careful. 

Tell someone you trust where you’re going ahead of time, and don’t feel pressured to go anywhere or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.  

10. Are you going on a virtual date? Make it exciting

Virtual dates can still be enjoyable, so if you’ve got one coming up, here are a few ideas for you.

You could choose to both make a cocktail together, then slowly sip it (pace yourself!) as you get to know each other. 

If you’re into cooking, you could even cook a simple meal together, and see who’s the better chef. Keep asking each other questions and talking while you’re prepping. 

To create a romantic vibe, make sure you still get dressed up and light some candles wherever you’re sitting. For more virtual date ideas, check these out. 

11. Be present in the moment

Hopefully, when you’re actually on the date, you’ll feel a little more relaxed as time goes on and you get comfortable with each other. But if you’re looking to make a genuine connection, focus on being fully present in the moment.

What do I mean by that?

Put your phone away. Stop over-thinking things or allowing yourself to be distracted by your own self-conscious thoughts. Forget whatever is going on around you. Be focused on your date. 

If he goes to the bathroom and you end up on your own for a while, refuse the urge to pick up your phone. Just enjoy being on your date. Everything else can wait. 

12. Don’t drink too much

Sometimes having your favorite drink to calm your nerves can help you relax. But know your limits, and avoid getting drunk—especially if this is the first date. 

This will show him that you’re a classy woman who knows her limits and isn’t just looking to party. It will also help you avoid that awkward moment when you fall off your chair or throw up on his shoes in the street.

On average, one drink per hour is generally a safe bet. Try not to have more than two drinks throughout the date. If you want to know what your unique limit is, use an online blood alcohol content calculator. 

On a side note—always watch your glass. Bring it with you if you need to go to the ladies, or finish it before you go. Drink spiking does happen, and you can never be too careful.   

13. Think about what your body is saying

We can say a lot without even opening our mouths. Next time you’re going on a date, pay attention to what your body is doing. 

If you feel nervous or shy, this can often translate subconsciously in your body. For example, you might fold your arms, avoid eye contact, or sit far away from your date. The problem is, these are subtle cues that he will pick up on and will make him think you’re not interested in him.

When in doubt, remember the word STEP: 

1. Smile – smiling is good, so if you’re enjoying yourself or he’s making you laugh, smile. 
2. Touch – touching your hair or face will draw his attention to you and help you signal to him you’re attracted to him. 
3. Eye contact – this isn’t a staring competition, but look at him frequently throughout your conversation. 
4. Posture – sitting up will help you appear more confident, and if you’re interested in him, lean in. 

14. Make sure the conversation is a two-way street

When you’re going on a date, getting the balance in conversation can be tricky. It’s important to talk about yourself, but it’s equally important to make sure you’re asking lots of questions and listening too. 

If one of you dominates the conversation, it will leave the other person feeling deflated or frustrated, and you won’t create a genuine connection. 

Men love it when they feel like they’re being listened to and that someone is genuinely interested in what they have to say. Of course we do, and you ladies love that too. We all do. 

If you’re unsure where to start the conversation, ask about his work, and actively listen to what he says. Be considerate and thoughtful when responding. Don’t try and find out their entire life history on date number one, but try and get a good sense of who they are. 

“First dates aren’t the time to find out the person’s entire life history, but you can get a good idea of what they might want in the future. Don’t get hung up on small things and keep the big picture in mind. You can always decline the next date if you don’t sense any chemistry.”

—Alisha Powell, couples therapist.

15. Avoid mentioning exes

Bringing up your ex on a first date is a red flag that you’re not over them. Avoid mentioning exes unless he brings it up. And if he does, pay close attention to what he says. If he’s trash-talking or blaming his ex or can’t stop talking about her, he’s probably not over it yet. 

This date is about the two of you getting to know each other. You both have a past, but there’s plenty of time to talk about that serious stuff on future dates. Keep it light and fun.    

16. Trust your intuition

Your intuition as a woman is a superpower. Both men and women have it, but for women, it’s super-charged and an underutilized strength.

We’ve all had an experience where we didn’t listen to our gut feeling and ended up realizing we should have.  

Throughout the date, keep checking in with yourself and how you feel. If something feels off about this guy to you, trust and follow that feeling. Don’t ignore those hunches or even minor red flags.

17. Going on a date: Be playful

Did you know research has shown using humor in conversations can make you seem more likable? Plus, telling jokes can help calm you both and put you at ease. 

Laughing feels good, so don’t be afraid to make a joke, tease him, or go for some playful banter. You probably don’t know each other’s personal humor preference yet, so play it safe and don’t say anything too outrageous. 

Being able to make a joke shows you’re intelligent, able to have fun, and confident. All of these things are undeniably attractive. 

18. Make him feel good when he’s with you

Let me tell you a secret. A man falls for a woman because of how she makes him feel about himself when he’s with her.

When you’re going on a date, it’s not so much about you but more about how he feels around you. He wants to feel like a hero to you, he wants to protect you, and he wants to feel appreciated and desired. 

If you make him feel this way, he’s way more likely to want to see you again and view you as girlfriend material.

19. Be willing to be open and a little bit vulnerable

When it comes to a first date, you don’t want to ask overly invasive questions because this will be too much too soon. But you also don’t want to linger on small talk; otherwise, you’ll leave the date not knowing much about each other. 

Start with the neutral territory and basic questions, and gradually build the intimacy. Be willing to be a little vulnerable on your date, and ask (and answer) some more profound, soul-searching questions. 

A date is your opportunity to see if you have anything in common and whether you want to spend more time with them. So ask questions that help you figure this out. 

For example, ask him what his perfect day looks like. If marriage is something you see in your future, ask him if he sees marriage in his. If you’re misaligned on big things like this, chances are it’s not a good match.  

20. Respect your boundaries

When going on a date, always remember to respect your boundaries (and his too). Do whatever you need to do to ensure you feel safe and at ease.  

If you feel pressured to cross those boundaries or feel uncomfortable in any way, this is another red flag. The man you’re with should respect you and your boundaries and want to make you feel safe and comfortable in every way he possibly can—any guy who doesn’t is a jerk and not worth your time. 

21. If you like him, break the touch barrier

Why are you ladies always waiting for us to make the first move?!

Here’s the deal. If you’re on a date and you’re feeling it, instead of waiting for a guy to make the first move, do it yourself. Lightly brush his arm, hold his hand, or place your hand softly on his chest. 

Give him a subtle signal that you’re into him or want him to kiss you before the date is over.

22. Don’t count him out just because there’s no initial “spark”

Too many women (and men) go on a first date, have a nice time, but don’t make it to date number two because there’s no “spark.” 

A survey found that only 53% of men and women are willing to go on a second date if they didn’t feel that chemistry on the first one. But this is a mistake. It doesn’t need to be love at first sight. 

That spark you’re searching for can grow over time. If you feel comfortable with someone and share things in common, always go on a second date. 

Why not? 

23. Always offer to split the bill at the end

Money can be an awkward topic with couples who have been together for years, let alone two people who have just met.

My advice would always be to offer to split the bill with him at the end. Men appreciate this gesture. But if he’s adamant about paying, then let him. Don’t block yourself from receiving. And if you’ve planned a second date, tell him you’ll get the next one.  

24. If you’re looking for something serious, don’t go back to his place

Some people who have had sex on the first date end up in long term relationships together. But this is usually the exception to the rule. 

If you’re looking for something serious with this guy, my advice would be to hold off on sex for at least a few more dates. It makes him work harder for you and allows the anticipation and excitement to build with each date. 

Those are my top tips for going on a date

Remember, dating should be fun and something you look forward to doing. It’s normal to be nervous, but don’t let those pre-date jitters stop you from having a great date. 

Follow the tips above, and you’ll begin to approach dating differently. You’ll worry less about yourself and focus more on the guy with you and whether he’s a good match for you. This is what dating is all about, and this is key if you want to find a long-lasting relationship with someone special. 

Have you had success with these dating tips, and are there others that have helped you have a fantastic date? Let me know in the comments below. 

The post Going on a Date? Here are 24 Tips to Use Tonight appeared first on Love Strategies.

https://lovestrategies.com/going-on-a-date/

Finding love after 40 can be challenging.

Why?

Because the dating scene has changed a lot since you were in your twenties.

Every man you meet comes with baggage. Maybe he’s just come out of a messy divorce, or he’s jaded from a past relationship, or he has kids.

You think you’ve met someone great, and you want to keep seeing him, and then BAM. He comes clean.

“I’m still married.”

“I just went bankrupt.”

“My ex-wife and I are great friends, and we like to hang out at the weekends and barbeque.“

And you’re left thinking WTF?!

All of a sudden, dating isn’t fun and carefree like it used to be. And frankly, it can be a little intimidating for us all.

So, what do you do if you’re looking for real, lasting love after 40?

Yes, the dating scene is different now because you’re in a different stage of your life. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be just as thrilling as it used to be.

There will always be men carrying a bit of baggage with them, and you’ve likely got your own too. But the secret to finding love after 40 is how you approach dating.

Because no matter how old you are, you deserve love, and it’s out there waiting for you to receive it.

What has been your number one challenge in finding love after 40? Have you tried any of these six tips in the video, and how did they work for you?

Drop me a comment below!

Your Coach,

P.S. If you’re serious about finding love after 40, check out my Little Love Steps Program.Learn more here.

The post 6 Tips to Finding Love After 40 That Actually Work appeared first on Love Strategies.

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If you’re wondering how to deal with a breakup, firstly, I want you to know you are not alone.

Most of us have been there at some point in our lives.

A Northwestern study found that breakups cloud our sense of self, and the more serious the relationship was, the bigger your identity crises may be. If that rings true for you, know that it’s normal. 

Sometimes we try and convince ourselves it’s not a big deal and was only a breakup. But because falling in love can be a scientifically addictive process, breaking up can be more serious than you first think. 

“Emotionally, it can be quite a big deal, and [breakups] can be a risk factor for depression, which is no clinical condition to take lightly. There is a real analogy of the, quote, broken heart. There are some physiological rationales behind that thinking. [Breakups] can jeopardize one’s health.”—Brian Boutwel, an evolutionary psychologist at St. Louis University.

Yes, it sucks, but the good news is you will be okay. You will heal. And this list is going to help you.

What’s important is you don’t stay stuck in the past or blame yourself for mistakes you’ve made.

That means no playing the “if only….” game. If only I’d dyed my hair blonde, or gone to the gym more, or watched more Bourne movies with him. 

Don’t do this to yourself. Chances are he wasn’t perfect either. Today is the day to move forward.

Forget trying to win your ex back, focus on winning yourself back. You are the most important person in your life.  

Here’s how to deal with a break up in 7 steps. 1. Give yourself permission to feel & reflect

Before you do anything, it’s vital you give yourself permission to feel all your feelings. There are no right or wrong emotions. Here are just some of the ones you may be cycling through:

• Acceptance (especially immediately after the break up occurs)
• Relief
• Shock
• Denial
• Grief
• Rejection
• Pain
• Betrayal
• Fear
• Embarrassment
• Sadness

“Grief does shape us in big ways,” says Lodro Rinzler, author of Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken.

These emotions are all part of the grieving process, and in order to heal, you have to go through this. Give yourself some alone time to mope around, to feel, and to cry. 

Remember, don’t feel guilty for the way you feel. Stop thinking you should be over this by now, regardless of how long ago the break up was.

Why do you think you should? Breaking up with someone you love is a major loss, so it would be strange if you didn’t feel that in your heart. 

Your feelings are always justified, and there is never a “right way” to heal from a break up.  

Listen to sad music

You might reach for something to cheer yourself up, like a happy playlist of music. But did you know that listening to sad music can help normalizethe grief you’re experiencing, and help you feel less alone? 

Yes! According to a 2016 study, listening to sad music can be a source of comfort for some people. If you already know that mellow, tear-jerkers soothe your soul, then make yourself a break up playlist. 

See a therapist

If you’re really struggling and want someone to talk to, consider seeing a therapist. Talking to your friends and family is one thing, but having an unbiased, outside perspective can offer new insight.

A therapist will never judge you. They’ll help you sort through your feelings, and figure out how you can move forward. If you’re feeling a lot of anger towards your ex, this can really help diffuse it.

Reflect

Research has also found that people who do a deep reflection on their past relationship have a stronger overall recovery. You can’t change the past, but you can learn and grow from it. So consider what the lessons are for you.

What mistakes did you make? What were the positive aspects of the relationship? And what can you take with you from this experience that will make your next relationship stronger?

Journaling can be a powerful tool to help you do this. Writing is a great way to feel our emotions, make sense of them, and release them. Turn your feelings into a structured story, so you can begin to make sense of them. 

“‘Emotional expression’ and ‘account making’ (that is, coming up with an explanation for a traumatic event) are the two main psychological processes crucial for coping with a breakup—and this type of writing helps with both.”—Medical News Today. 

2. Cut all contact with them

One of the most crucial steps in dealing with a break-up is to cut all contact with your ex initially. Maybe you want to be friends with him, and in the future, you can be. But definitely not right now.

The best move for you right now is to delete his number from your phone and block them on all your social media accounts.

This will stop you from sending that text when you’re drunk at 3AM and missing them like hell. The text you know you’ll wish you could take back the next morning when you’re sober and thinking clearly.

So do your risk management ladies.

Not seeing what your ex is up to can be really difficult at first, especially since you’re so used to being a big part of their life. Maybe you still care about their health and happiness and success, and you want to see them reach their dreams.

It’s a bit of a shock realizing you don’t get to be a part of that anymore. This disconnection can be tough, but it’s better this way in the long run. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGJl96GxkqU No Contact Rule: 9 HUGE Benefits of Going Silent After a Breakup Stay out of their way

Try and stay out of their way as much as possible. This is challenging if you both live in the same, small town. But if you know he’s going to a party, I’d recommend skipping it. And if you know he likes hanging out at a particular bar or club, steer clear of it for a while.

Seeing him flirting with other women, and moving on with his life will only make you feel worse. Yes, you both need to move on, but neither of you want that shoved in your face.  

Don’t have break up sex!

Regardless of how lonely or tempted you are, do not under any circumstance have break up sex.

When women have sex, oxytocin is released in their bodies, which is also known as the “cuddle hormone.” This makes you feel more attached to your partner, lowers your defenses, and puts you at risk of falling back in love again.

Save yourself the heartache and be strong.

Don’t trash talk your ex

One final thing: avoid trash talking your ex to your friends and family. This might feel therapeutic to begin with, especially as your squad is likely to back you to the end. But it will only make you feel crappy. You’re better than this.   

3. How to deal with a breakup: Detox

Now that you’ve cut all contact with your ex, it’s time to detox. 

The first step here is to deal with any baggage from the relationship, physically and emotionally.

When we don’t do this, we tend to cart our issues around with us and bring that into our future relationships. Essentially, we set ourselves up for failure, and this can easily be avoided.

Were there a lot of arguments in the relationship? If so, what was the root cause of them? Can you see any patterns there? Who was the one picking the fight, and what usually led to the explosion?

It’s vital you take time here to reflect and recharge. Make peace with the past so that you can move forward. 

Make sure you’re not doing anything to sabotage your healing right now. That includes heavy drinking, taking drugs, or excessive eating. 

Clear out bad memories

Transform your home into your own personal love detox center. Throw out anything you’ve accumulated from the relationship. That includes that shoebox in the back of your closet—you know the one I’m talking about.

Get rid of the bad memories and reminders of what you’ve lost, because this is how we create space for new memories. 

Rearrange the furniture in your house, and breathe fresh energy into your space. Take some inspiration from the ancient Chinese practice of feng shui to get good energy flowing again in your life.

Maybe take this time to have a massive clear out, and get rid of anything you no longer feel aligned with. Redecorate if you feel called to.

Blast an empowering playlist out while you do this, and give yourself permission to choreograph a matching dance routine. Because, why the hell not?

This is the end of an old chapter in your life, and the beginning of a beautiful new one. Embrace it.

4. Take care of yourself

Figuring out how to deal with a break up is really about learning how to take care of yourself during this emotional period of adjustment. 

Even when you feel like sleeping in and hiding out from the world with a selection box, dig deep to find the motivation to get up and take care of yourself. You need self-care now more than ever.

That means checking off the basics. Get up at a reasonable hour, shower, get dressed into clothes that make you feel good, do your hair and makeup. Do whatever you need to do to feel put together.  

“Prioritizing your hygiene and taking pride in how you look can often make you feel better inside.”—Kristie Norwood, licensed clinical psychologist.

Eat well

Try and eat a balanced diet. Don’t diet or binge as a way to comfort or punish yourself. You don’t need cruelty right now, you need more kindness and compassion.

Opt for nourishing foods that make you feel good, and energize you. Stick to a plant-based diet as much as possible, and try out a vitamin supplement if you want an extra boost.

But don’t worry about indulging in some pizza or ice cream now and then. Listen to your body, and trust it.

Move your body

Keep your body moving, but don’t over-exert yourself either.

Exercise releases endorphins, which can lower your stress levels, improve cognitive functioning, and boost your mood. Plus, it’ll be a welcome distraction from your thoughts and worries right now.

Focus on moving your body in ways that feel good to you. A power class like kickboxing might help build your confidence back up, and help you feel physically and mentally stronger.

Practice self-care

Try and practice self-care every day. It can take as little or as long as you like. Here are some ideas:

• Enjoy a relaxing bath
• Practice positive self-talk
• Meditate
• Play
• Let go of a toxic habit
• Unplug
• Get a massage
• Journal
• Tidy your house
• Organize something
• Have coffee with a friend
• Watch an inspiring movie
• Treat yourself to a new sex toy

Getting enough good sleep is important right now for your health and happiness.

Try and establish a good sleep routine if you don’t already have one.

It’s little things like this that will help you feel like you’ve got your shit together. 

5. Focus on something else

When you’re in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to lose a sense of who you are without your partner. Now is the perfect time to reclaim yourself. 

What hobbies have you always enjoyed? What’s something you haven’t done in a while but would like to? Think about the parts of yourself you may have pushed aside or let slip over the past few months or years. 

Create space to do things you love. And even if you don’t feel like it, push yourself to get out there and do them. This is how to start enjoying yourself and your life again. 

Go to a club with your friends, go to a local class or join a club, meet new people, head to a comedy club or an art gallery.

Focus on saying yes to invitations and opportunities, even if you want to stay home alone with your thoughts. 

Take back control of your life

Break-ups have a way of making you feel like your life is out of control. There’s no better way to combat this than by focusing on another area of your life and kicking ass in it.

That might be your career, your friendships, your hobbies, or your side hustle. This will help you feel more confident and build your self-worth back up. 

Another brilliant way to deal with a break up is to plan something fun to look forward to. Maybe a gig, a music festival, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or even a vacation with your girlfriends.

This is how we help ourselves move forward and heal. 

Remember, every loss we experience always has a purpose. Perhaps it will help you explore and re-discover yourself on a deeper level than you ever have before.  

6. Reconnect with friends

Wondering how to deal with a breakup? Go home. Return to that place where you are loved and supported by people you know and trust.

“Home is the place where when you go there, they have to take you in.”—Robert Frost.

Chances are, you have someone you can go to who makes you feel like you’re home. Whether it’s your sister, your best friends, or your mum. Maybe you’re blessed enough to have many homes you can go to.

There’s no place that feels safer than home does.

But be mindful about who you’re choosing to spend time with. What you need now is the energy of positive, uplifting people. Not Debbie downers. Seek out the people who look on the bright side, can make you laugh a lot, and make everything that’s heavy feel lighter.

Date your girlfriends

Now that you’re single, why not date your girlfriends?

Plan brunch dates, spa sessions, nights out, weekends away. Pour your time and energy back into the relationships you may have let slide a little while you were in a relationship. 

Even if you don’t feel like having company or being social right now, avoid the desire to isolate yourself.

Experts have found that staying social decreases depression and helps you live longer. There are also numerous studies that have found social support in the wake of adversity or trauma leads to better mental and physical health.

So don’t be afraid to lean on your people right now. Stay connected. Share how you’re feeling. Allow the people who love you to walk through this by your side. 

7. Start dating again (when you’re ready)

When it comes to how to deal with a breakup, the best thing is to avoid dating again until you feel ready.

Great advice Adam, but how do you know when you’re ready?

Great question!

You’re ready to date again when your previous relationship no longer feels heavy to you. 

“You have more mental space to think of other things outside of this one person. [You can] create new memories, develop new hobbies, and focus on yourself. This is when you can begin to know you are healed and can begin dating again in a healthy way.”—Dr. Tricia Wolanin, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist.

Don’t date to make yourself feel better

That means avoid hopping on dating apps when you get an urge to unless you’re actually ready. Some people say the best way to get over someone is to move on to someone else. But generally, this is bad advice and does not work!

Perhaps in the moment when you’re hooking up, you may not be thinking about your ex. But eventually, you will be. This will only leave you feeling worse than you did before. Plus, it’s not fair on the other person. They deserve more, and so do you.

You need to take this time to restore your trust and faith in relationships and open yourself to being vulnerable with someone again.

And the best way to do that is to preserve your energy and take care of yourself. So when you’re ready to date again, you’ll feel good about yourself, you’ll know what you want, and you’ll recognize it when you see it.   

When you are ready to start dating again, be sure to take things slow. There’s no rush. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, and that’s a big life event.  

And that is how to deal with a break up

I’m not gonna lie to you. Breakups can be really tough, regardless of who broke up with who.

But follow these 7 steps and you’ll be well on your way to moving forward and healing from the past. 

Trust me when I say you’re going to be okay. You are stronger than this.

Always remember that everything we go through in life is teaching us something, and shaping us into the highest version of ourselves we can be. And that’s a beautiful thing. 

Have you tried some of the steps above to deal with a break up in the past? Or do you have some extra tips on how to deal with a break up that aren’t on this list?

Share them all with me in the comments below!

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