Showboe's blog
Let me put a word in for holding on in there and staying the course, because it’s a situation I went through and recognise as part of the process. During my own dating days I kept a diary and it’s all there: ‘No one interesting on the scene at the moment.’ ‘Messages from Tony seem to have dried up.’ ‘Nothing new happening.’
Looking back I realise these were just metaphorical potholes on the relationship road. They did not prevent me reaching my final destination of a loving marriage, which happened in its own good time and was absolutely worth the wait and worth the work.
Because here’s the thing: we are told marriage takes work whereas dating is all about fun, but searching for that right, long-term relationship, like any truly worthwhile life goal, sometimes feels like hard work, tiring, and a hothouse of the emotions. Adrenaline is up and down like a yo-yo causing spurts of energy followed by troughs of disappointment. What can you do to stay positive and work through any discouragement?
One positive mental attitude you can adopt to is to take dating both seriously and lightly at the same time. Sounds crazy and impossible? It worked for me. Deep down I was serious about commitment and meeting that special person, but I also realised that expecting each date to be Mr Perfect would just be adding too much pressure into the mix.
So I told myself that going to meet people was a fun, practical activity, definitely a better use of my time than sitting on the sofa at home in front of the TV. I told myself: ‘I don’t have to be perfect, the date doesn’t have to be perfect, I am just practising social skills and being friendly. I’m going to take each experience at face value and if it develops into something more, that’s a bonus.’
I also had a theory that getting used to meeting and chatting to new people meant that when meeting up with that special someone for the first time, instead of feeling overwhelmed I would be relaxed because it was a social situation I was used to, and this could only benefit getting the relationship started.
I learnt to work through dating discouragement by being proactive. I varied and rotated pictures on my online dating profile and freshened up what I’d written about myself. You never know when a new picture or a new perspective on yourself will suddenly appeal to someone. I broadened out my social reach by not only focusing on the area I lived in, but by searching further afield to include matches from places where I already had a connection, such as family I could visit, thereby instantly giving myself a wider base with lots of potential new people to meet.
Remember that feelings are like waves: they come and go, ebb and flow, like waves crashing onto a beach. Although you might be feeling emotionally negative right now, no doubt a more positive time will come. It’s a big world out there, full of people, and all it takes is one person. Just one. That one person will make any discouragement you’ve had to deal with along the way a thing of the past and completely worthwhile.
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Find out more about Christian Connection and join today
https://www.christianconnection.com/dating-advice/overcoming-dating-discouragement/
This past year has been an exceptionally hard one for everyone. We’ve learnt to expect the unexpected, adapt and slow down. The truth is, no one apart from God knows what the coming year will bring. That is both exciting and daunting. 2021 could be the year where you meet your partner for life! Life can change dramatically – both for good and bad – and the only constant we have is the fact that God does not change. He is completely in control.
Keep God at the centre – 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Following Christ is the best kind of resolution you could ever make. Changes and goals can be good – but to make them sustainable, God needs to be at the centre. Stop trying to make changes to yourself and struggling to maintain them on your own. God is the one who can change your heart, and ultimately it is His will that is best for you in the new year. Preparing your heart first will ready you for meeting someone new, making sure you’re ready to share your heart and life. How can you ensure you’re doing all you can to be ready for a g
Pray the new year in – and keep praying – This is a great way to hand over the year to God – this will take the pressure off you and allow God to be in control: “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). This will give a sense of peace as you know you are not alone on the journey that the new year will bring. Giving God space and control will mean that your priorities are right, meaning that you can then seek meaningful connections with people or start a new relationship well.
Lose the pressure – Stop trying to force change. Take the pressure off yourself, and don’t beat yourself up if you slip. New goals take a while to become a habit. God can change people and hearts so allow Him to do His work in you through prayer, rather than you trying to change yourself. Don’t try to force a relationship also does not work, no matter how much you want it to happen. It will happen naturally when the timing is right, trust God in that. Wait for God’s best!
Manage your time – with God – Starting and ending your day with God is a great way to do this, key to using your time well. Ask God to help you to work out who or what is important that day and focus on that. If this is the year you want to focus on meeting a life partner, then this will help you make time for dating or pursuing a relationship. God can bring about the right people to see for that day and the right circumstances if we trust and allow Him to work.
Declutter – Our brains and lives are so full, it’s hard to make any space or change for anything new. It’s hard to give anything our full attention as our brains are thinking of everything else that needs doing. This can cause dates and relationships to fail as full attention is needed to create meaningful connections. Prioritise one thing at a time, be that the date in front of you, the online profile you’re creating to date, or the relationship you’re in. Focusing on one thing at a time fully stops us from becoming ‘scatterbrains’.
Make mini goals – Give yourself things to look forward to and build this into your timetable or diary. It’s good to have expectations but try not to make them so high they’re unreachable. Instead, make your expectations realistic. Give yourself points during the year to have something to look forward to. This will keep a positive and happy attitude rather than a bitter, negative, worked-to-the-bone mindset. You want to be at your best for when you do meet someone, and having interesting things that excite you make you who you are; keeping your attitude happy. You’ll be in a much better mindset to date and make a good impression as you’ll feel more confident.
The new year is a time to look forward. We can make positive changes in our lives, but these will only be sustained with the help of God who can change us from the inside out. Trying to change ourselves humanly from the outside in will just be superficial. Let God to do His work in you, allow Him and that will be the best resolution you can make for 2021.
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Find out more about Christian Connection and how to meet single Christians here.
https://www.christianconnection.com/dating-advice/new-year-resolutions-dating/
Ahead of New Year 2020, I created a workbook for my subscribers, encouraging them to create their 2020 vision. I loved the idea that we could apply 2020 vision to our lives and get clarity on our hopes and desires. Then a global pandemic hit and derailed many of our plans. But now we can begin again.
The phrase ‘2021 vision’ may not trip off the tongue like ‘2020 vision’ but the New Year offers us all an opportunity to connect with our hearts, to tune in to our intuition and to decide where we’d like to place our focus over the next 12 months.
Before we look forwards, though, let’s learn from the past, because that is how we grow.
At this point, it’s important to forgive yourself for any mistakes you believe you made last year or for not achieving your dreams or goals. Self-compassion and kindness are key. Be gentle with yourself and appreciate and celebrate yourself for all that you are and all that you have done. From this place of self-acceptance, we can get excited about the blank canvas we have in front of us.
So, what are your heart’s desires for 2021? Are you in touch with them? If your heart could speak, what would it say?
In order to connect with my heart’s desires, I find it helpful to still my mind, to meditate, journal or pray. I also like to place my hand over my heart and to invite my heart to speak to me.
I’m searching for my truth here – not the things I feel I ought to do but the things I long to do. I’m connecting with my authentic, courageous self – not the woman who’s afraid.
While in this still place, you might want to choose a word or two for 2021 to signal your priorities. Your word might be love or it might be health, wellbeing, family, creativity or something else entirely. Write this word on paper in big letters and pin it up in a place you’ll see it daily, or slip it into your purse or wallet.
Then, when faced with choices or when stood at a crossroads, glance at that word or words and ask yourself which choice or path would be in accordance with the deepest desires of your heart and in line with your authentic self. You might also want to think about doing a creative exercise, perhaps compiling a vision board for 2021 using images from magazines or sketching a picture of your dream year with coloured pens. I find creativity helps me to connect to my truth. You could create a vision board for your life in general, or specifically for the relationship you’d like to have or the career you would like to build, knowing that everything is connected.
My own journey to love and marriage taught me how important it is to feel content in other areas of my life in order for a relationship to work, and I see this with my coaching clients all the time.
Once you have some clarity on your priorities for the year, it’s time to identify the steps that will help you to build your dream life or to find that relationship you’ve always longed for. Sometimes our goals seem beyond our reach, but if we break them down into manageable steps and start taking small but consistent actions, we will soon see progress.
I’ve noticed this in my writing. I knew one of the desires of my heart was to write a novel, but I had no idea how to tackle such an enormous project. But then I sat down to write a few days a week and now I’m well on my way.
The same goes for your dream. If you would like to find a relationship, what small steps could you take at the start of this year? Is it time to refresh your dating profile, or to invest in some new photographs? Is it time to ask a friend to review your profile or to let people in your circles know that you are looking for love? Or is it time to take up a new hobby or sign up to a class, even if it is online for now? Making our heart sing is often the best thing we can do to improve our chances of finding love.
On a deeper level, are you aware that you have some emotional blocks that are standing in the way of you having a healthy relationship? If so, is it time to explore those blocks? Is it time to seek support so that you can remove them? If any of the above suggestions feel onerous, uncomfortable or frightening, please know that’s a good thing. In order to make significant changes in our lives, many of us need to stretch ourselves a little, challenge our fears and step out of our comfort zones.
I have repeatedly done this over the last 20 years of my personal development journey and I will continue to do it in 2021 and beyond, because I know the rewards are incredible and well worth those moments of discomfort. I wish you a wonderful New Year.
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Find out more about Christian Connection here.
https://www.christianconnection.com/dating-advice/dreams-come-true/
Saweetie is tapping into television.
After a successful 2020, the “ICY GRL” is starting off the new year with a new gig. The rapper makes her acting debut on the upcoming midseason premiere of “grown-ish.”
In the episode, Saweetie guest stars as Indigo, Joey Bada$$’s bossy protégé and client to Zoey, played by Yara Shahidi. In the preview clip, Indigo demands a wardrobe change while on set of a music video. When Zoey, who is also Joey’s stylist, tells her that she doesn’t have any other options besides swimsuits, Indigo is not willing to take no for an answer. “Yes, you do,” she says with a smirk.
Saweetie admits she was nervous about taking on the multi-episode role, but Shahidi helped calm her nerves. “I would ask her for advice, and she was so easy to work with, so it was an honor and a pleasure to work by with her. I know she’s gonna continue to do big and great things,” she told EW. “Even if I would mess up sometimes, she was just so helpful. It’s always nice to work with someone who wants you to do as good as them. What I will say is that she’s such a team player. She was like hyping me up and gave me the motivation, so it was fun to work with her.”
Expect even more from Saweetie in the months ahead including the long-awaited release of her debut album Pretty Bitch Music, which has already spawned the singles “Tap In” and “Back to the Streets” with Jhené Aiko. She is also readying her leaked Doja Cat collaboration.
Season 3 of “grown-ish” returns Thursday, Jan. 21 at 8 p.m. on Freeform. Get a sneak peek below.
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/saweetie-acting-debut-grown-ish/
Gucci Mane is giving Keyshia Ka’oir a million reasons to be happy.
Following the birth of their baby boy Ice Davis last month, the rapper surprised his wife by gifting her with a million dollars. Keyshia revealed Gucci’s generous push present on Instagram Stories on Monday (Jan. 4).
“My husband just gave me $1M for my push present!! WTH!!!” she wrote.
The couple welcomed their first child together just days before Christmas. “My wife just gave me a 7lb 1 oz baby boy his name ICE DAVIS,” Gucci said while announcing his son’s arrival on Dec. 23. “Thank you Mrs. Davis he’s here!!!!!!!”
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For Christmas, Keyshia presented Ice’s father with a 540-karat Cuban link chain worth a reported $2.5 million. The custom necklace says “Ice Daddy” on the front and is personalized with a message on the back: “Dad, to the world you are just a rapper, but to my mommy and I you are our world.” In return, Gucci gifted his wife with a limited edition Hermès Sellier Birkin bag, which sells for upwards of $40,000.
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The couple also received gifts from their famous friends including Beyoncé, who sent them a Tiffany & Co. silver fork and spoon. “Thanks, Beyoncé. This means everything to us,” said Keyshia.
Thank u @beyonce for ICE’s gift pic.twitter.com/jnvIHmhR9Y
— Keyshia Ka'oir Davis (@KeyshiaKaoir) December 27, 2020
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/gucci-mane-keyshia-kaoir-1-million-push-present/
Bobby Shmurda could be coming home as early as next month.
The incarcerated rapper, whose real name is Ackquille Pollard, was originally expected to be released from custody at the end of the year, but it appears that he will be out sooner. According to the New York State Department of Corrections and Community Supervision website (via The Shade Room), he has received a conditional release date of Feb. 23.
This is welcome news for the “Hot Ni**a” MC, who was denied parole during a September hearing due to his behavior behind bars, including a reported 11 violations for drug possession, fighting, and having a shank. His original release date was December 11, 2021.
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Shmurda, 26, is serving time at New York’s Clinton Correctional Facility after pleading guilty to one count of third-degree conspiracy and one count of weapons possession in September 2016. He was initially sentenced to 6 to 7 years in prison in 2016 and has been in prison since December 2014.
Just last month, his GS9 affiliate Rowdy Rebel was released from prison. He will be on parole until 2025.
Shmurda has big plans following his release including new music and an inspirational documentary about his life.
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/bobby-shmurda-early-release/
DaBaby is giving himself the title.
The “Rockstar” rapper has declared himself and Lil Wayne the “best rappers alive.” Taking to Instagram on Sunday, DaBaby shared a series of photos of him and Weezy in the studio while making the bold declaration.
“Best rappers alive.? @liltunechi ?,” he captioned the post.
He received support from his 16 million IG followers including his girlfriend DaniLeigh, who wrote “Yup.”
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Based on the photos, DaBaby and Tunechi appear to be cooking up a new collaboration. They previously worked together on the remix to Jack Harlow’s “WHATS POPPIN.”
DaBaby also recently linked up with another GOAT, Sean “Diddy” Combs. He shared photos of him and the Bad Boy mogul welcoming 2021 while celebrating on a yacht.
“Studied the greats a long time before I could share the room with em,” DaBaby wrote.
Last month, the Billion Dollar Baby CEO spoke about his future retirement plans. “Five years, I’ma be retired in five years,” he told XXL. “I won’t be rapping in five years. I won’t be rapping. I’ll be creating other superstars.”
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https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/dababy-lil-wayne-best-rappers-alive/
Nicki Minaj is being sued for more than $200 million over her Lil Wayne-assisted song “Rich Sex.”
Queens rapper Jawara Headley, who goes by Brinx Billions, claims Nicki ripped off his version of “Rich Sex” after he played it for her sometime prior to 2016. In the legal documents, obtained by TMZ, Brinx says Nicki told him it would be “extremely marketable and become a global hit.”
Brinx, who says he’s known Nicki since they met on MySpace in 2007, alleges that Minaj stole his song and put it on her 2018 album Queen. While he’s not listed in the album credits, Brinx insists he’s the sole author/creator/composer/writer/producer of “Rich Sex.”
In his suit, he alleges that Minaj ripped off specific lyrics such as, “It ain’t such a thing as broke and handsome.” Additionally, he says Minaj’s song has similar music, musical notes, musical arrangement, musical beats, and musical rhythm.
Brinx is suing Minaj, along with Universal Music Group, Young Money, and Cash Money, for over $200 million in damages.
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/nicki-minaj-sued-200-million-rich-sex/
Playboi Carti is ringing in the new year with a No. 1 album.
The Atlanta rapper earns his first No. 1 on the Billboard 200 with his sophomore album Whole Lotta Red. The Christmas Day release, which features Kanye West, Kid Cudi, and Future, opens with 100,000 equivalent album units, of which album sales comprise 10,000.
Carti’s debut album Die Lit peaked at No. 3 and has moved 1.1 million equivalent album units since its May 2018 release. Prior to that, his 2017 self-titled mixtape reached No. 12 on the Billboard 200.
Taking to Twitter, a grateful Carti thanked his fans. “!!!!! wTF . wE r # 1 > mY fANs,” he tweeted.
!!!!! wTF . wE r # 1 > mY fANs . >
— ???♀️ (@playboicarti) January 4, 2021
Lil Durk’s The Voice jumps to No. 3 in its second week with 66,000 equivalent album units. The rapper’s sixth studio album debuted at No. 46 with 23,000 units from just one day of activity following its release on Christmas Eve. The Voice is Durk’s third top 10 effort and follows Just Cause Y’all Waited 2, which peaked at No. 2 in July following its deluxe reissue with seven bonus tracks.
Elsewhere, Pop Smoke’s former No. 1 Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon rises 11-4 with 46,000 equivalent album units, Ariana Grande’s Positions surges from 14-5 with 38,000 units, and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News reenters the top 10 at No. 7 with 34,000 units.
Eminem’s Music to Be Murdered By rounds out the top 10. The album, which was originally released in January 2020, falls 3-10 with 33,000 units after the surprise Side B deluxe reissue with 16 additional tracks.
Billboard 200 Top 10
1. Playboi Carti – Whole Lotta Red – 100,000
2. Taylor Swift – Evermore – 71,000
3. Lil Durk – The Voice – 66,000
4. Pop Smoke – Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon – 46,000
5. Ariana Grande – Positions – 38,000
6. Taylor Swift – Folklore – 36.000
7. Megan Thee Stallion – Good News – 34.000
8. Luke Combs – What You See Is What You Get – 34.000
9. Bad Bunny – El Ultimo Tour del Mundo – 34.000
10. Eminem – Music to Be Murdered By: Side B – 33,000
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/04/playboi-carti-whole-lotta-red-debuts-at-no-1/
Nicki Minaj’s son is rich already.
On Saturday, the new mom shared the first photos of her newborn son. Her Instagram slideshow received over 5.3 million likes from fans and friends including 50 Cent, who reposted Nicki’s baby boy on his own page and gushed over the adorable infant.
“look at them cheeks, we got another winner I would say south side but this baby rich,” 50 captioned his post. “look at him i think he know he rich already.”
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Nicki’s son can be seen decked out in a designer wardrobe while wearing a diamond bracelet, watch, and chain bearing his nickname “Poppa Bear.” His lavish lifestyle even prompted 50 to give him the nickname “Richie Rich.”
“Y’all can call him Papa Bear but I’m calling him Richie Rich,” said 50.
In the comments, Nicki responded to 50, who has two sons of his own. “I know u bout to have another one real soon,” she wrote, to which he replied, “Why not nicki somebody gotta take over when we done.”
The rappers have maintained a friendship throughout the years. Back in July, 50 praised Minaj, who also grew up in Queens, New York.
“I love me some Nicki. This n***a actually happens to come from my neighborhood. It happens to be a girl, but that n***a is tough!” he told Lil Wayne on Young Money Radio. “She be harder than the n***a she f**k with. She be harder and she’s an alpha female! That motherf**ker tough!”
50 recently dropped a video for “Part of the Game,” his new song featuring NLE Choppa and Rileyy Lanez, which serves as the theme for his upcoming Starz series, “Power Book III: Raising Kanan.”
https://www.rap-up.com/2021/01/03/50-cent-nicki-minaj-son-nickname/
